The Bardo Is Not Just For The Dead

It was the anniversary of the year to the day my elder passed. I joined a group journey experience that included head phones, blindfolds and deep shamanic breathing so you can get deep into the belly to shift unwanted debris.

It took a while to shake my mind until the deep breathing took over. 

My body although lying down soon felt the need to move. My arms and legs moved as if they were walking a path. Probably looked like a turtle on its back struggling to get up from the facilitators point of view. 

I saw myself walking a path through a forest. I could sense, see and feel trees on either side for a good while until something shifted and I found myself in what felt like the Bardo. 

Now you may well ask, how do you know what the Bardo looks like? You’re not dead! This is true! 

I have read the Tibetan book of the dead like many others and studied and practice Chòd and other elements of how the Buddhist experience altered states. 

I just knew instinctively that I was in the Bardo Realm, doing my best to get through to the other side. I found myself surrounded by a sea of daemons/shadow beings that were either a reflection of my own thinking mind or actual energetic beings of the shadow realms. We can nit pick on which is true, but to me its not so much identifying if its one thing or the other, its about how one responds to it. 

In acknowledging their presence as a given, I kept moving ahead. Arms and hands now moving in circles in rhythm with the shamanic breath,  my knees and feet jiggling up and down. As someone once said if your going through hell, just keep going. My only purpose was to keep moving and not get distracted by the shadows pulling at me. I then heard the facilitator invite us to imagine moving inside a sweat lodge otherwise known as the womb of the mother where one can cleanse one self. 

I felt from deep within a need to scream. In all the work I have done from rebirthing to deep shamanic journeys etc I have heard others release in this way, but I have not felt that urge. Sure I have cried rivers, raged and moaned but not screamed.

This time was different. I felt it building inside me, and with the year I have had, it needed to be released. And boy did it release! As I opened my mouth to let it out, the witness in me was awake to hear the power in not one, not two, but three incredibly loud cries of pain and release. The facilitator clearly knew it was coming as they gently supported my back as I let them go. 

After we had finished, my voice croaky from letting it out, I was left curious in regards to my experience of the Bardo. And then of course the aha bulb went off. This year has had all the tell tale signs of a shamanic death which I was aware of but the Bardo journey put it in a deeper context for me. 

A part of me died when my last elder transitioned, I have had to work on reclaiming that along with letting go of what unconscious debris I absorbed from her bit by bit. I have been walking through the Bardo in ways for the last year and found myself stuck at times until I cleared what needed to be dealt with before I could go ahead. The release of the screams allowed me to finally come out the other side of the Bardo and into the light.

As in Tibetan Buddhism the Bardo is the realm of transition between death and rebirth and that’s certainly been my experience. With my mid heaven in Scorpio, I’m never going to do the light and easy way to move through. I tend to go into Persephone underworld and experience the depth of any rite of passage. While I am moving through it I would like to say I am doing it with ease and grace but that would be a lie. Clearing up ones debris cant get very messy. 

Persephone’s underworld journey is not something you can spiritually bypass. Jung can attest to that.  For me, my spirit is compelled to meet the darkness in order to transform and to get out the other side. Thats always been my way. I like everyone else I get impatient and want it to be over as its so damn uncomfortable. Im a diver, not a surfer and that has its benefits and its risks.

I am now out the other side and the light of expansion feels good. This year has been a 9 year for me. One of endings in many respects. Next year is a 1 year and in a few weeks I will be moving onto an island off the east coast of Australia, where I have bought a sweet house, along with wanting to add to my tool box by studying something that compliments the work I do even more so and this bardo insight will certainly be weaved in. 

Walking through the Bardo with awareness in that journey has brought closure for me. I had never seen the passage of grieving in this way before and believe me I have grieved hard. I have more respect for the Bardo teachings and a deeper understanding of the rite of passage, not just in regards to death, but to life and the realms that we move through. 

When we choose to be on a conscious path the shadows tend to show themselves as teachers and some of them offer very hard lessons that we may not see when we are in the storm but as we keep walking on, taking the next breath, doing out best to keep the witness alive in us, clear debris as they arise and be gentle towards ourselves, we begin to make sense of what we need to learn and how we can grow.

I am really looking forward to next year and being of service as that is my heart song.

Its what I cam here for. 

May you finish of this year with gentleness towards yourself and closure where you need it. 

Blessings

Always. 

Odette