Soul Retrieval Layers Of Change

When life throws us massive curveballs, it can affect all our relationships and our beliefs. In some cases, it can strengthen one's relationships and beliefs, however if trauma has been a signature in your life for whatever reason or trauma brings the curve ball with it, it can shake things up in a very discombobulating way. It tends to seep into every avenue of your life.

Change offers us an opportunity to see things differently, but it's not always welcome. I myself got thrown a massive curveball when my mother was dying. It wasn’t her death but the lead-up to the death that affected me on many different levels, but primarily the spirit level.

In an ‘Other’ life journey, my mother was deeply superstitious of me and my abilities to the point that she had me dragged away to the Asylum known as Bedlam. For those of you who have read my first book, you know that story. For those who haven’t, in my shamanic training, I journeyed deep into my perceived madness at the time to recall that life which helped me to understand my path in this lifetime.

I was a male in that life and was tortured, experimented on, tormented and left to die in Bethlehem Royal Hospital, London. During the journey, I felt tangible shocks running through my body and, a while later, discovered via research that they had practised on people with an antiquated electric shock machine, amongst many other experiments. In that life, my mother was terrified of the unexplained, hence she was staunchly religious. Her son, me, had what was termed ‘The Sight” We healed that life with Soul Retrieval and Other Life Healing

In this life, I returned as her daughter. She was expecting another boy. So convinced, she made a bet with her neighbour. Surprise! Its me again in a different form. My mother didn't choose religion this time, and although she believed in God, she was very open to the other side. She would go to mediums and psychics, admitting she really didn't want to do the spiritual work, she just enjoyed the entertainment.

It was common for her to ask me, for example, if my dead father was still in the house, if my dead brother was ok, invite me to visit friends of hers whose mothers had passed, to see if I could pick up anything. She often asked me about the unseen, but didn't want to know anything dark or creepy. My mother dipped lightly into things. I have always dived deep, and to be honest, I don’t think there has been much choice, it's how I’m built.

She felt uncomfortable with sensitivity (she was Scottish, Glaswegian), hence she bore a child who was oozing with it. She worried I would go too deep and get lost there. Her fear, not mine. She was loving, cheeky, affectionate and an utter handful!

When in her last stage of dying, she was fighting and frightened. I stood back as the paramedics and firefighters got her ready to haul her out of the house. I felt utterly helpless physically, and what I now realise in hindsight was that a subconscious part of my spirit left my body to be with hers so she wouldn’t be so scared. Three days late,r she left her body.

There was a moment not long after when I felt her spiritual weight on me; perhaps she felt worried about me, I’m not sure. In that moment, I begged her to get off me because I literally couldn’t breathe. A beautiful card she wrote me fell off the bookcase at the same time, and from then on, to be honest. I felt utterly lost. A part of me left with her. What I didn’t realise was that the part I gave up was my connection to spirit.

I was well aware I had fragmented, and in between sorting all the three-dimensional things I had to do, I did get some therapy regarding the PTSD I experienced. I called myself back from the hospital, the house, etc. when I left. What I didn’t pick up was a part of me breaking off to try and rescue her for my own fear that she couldn’t cope on her own.

It's been a long road back. Not feeling a sense of spiritual connection for months on end brought me to my knees. My sense of spiritual connection left with her. I literally gave it to her to help her on her way. It wasn’t a conscious choice in any way.

Strangely enough, I was still able to pick up insights and messages for others but was unable to receive for myself. I felt blocked, disconnected and couldn’t for the life of me work out how to reconnect. I did things I thought would help, but the sense of loss, along with some unconscious resistance to receiving, blocked my own inner link to gain any insight into the disconnect. Nothing seemed worth it without my connection to spirit. I felt dead inside.

I couldn't work out what was wrong, only that I felt lost and disconnected, no matter what I did to turn it around, so I just kept moving forward one step at a time. I became very dare I say normal. I just wanted to crawl into a hole and vanish.

Once I stopped distracting myself and was settled in my new home, the disconnection could no longer be bypassed. I was in a position, finally, to be stable enough to hopefully find my way back. Fortunately, I found someone who works similarly to me, and it all became crystal clear in one session. I saw myself literally give my connection up for her in that struggle of her fear and fight It made complete sense.

Having now reclaimed that which was given in rescue mode has been life-saving.

And it was soul retrieval yet again that saved me and brought me back to wholeness.

When it was returning, the fragmented part flew back to me as a gold disk straight to my third eye.

I had reclaimed the moment the PTSD kicked in. I had reclaimed what I thought was mine during the PTSD, along with cleaning up what I saw as spiritual debris from all places and all involved. What I didn’t see was my deep distress at not wanting her to be alone in her struggle and sacrificing a part of myself for her. You have heard of mothers lifting cars when they need to rescue their child. I did that in spirit for my mother. It wasn’t something I thought to do; it happened instinctively as the diver went to rescue the surfer from drowning. I gave up my oxygen for her and left myself breathless and floating in the dark waters.

Why didn’t I see this then? Why didn’t I know to do that then? I'm trained in this subject for goodness sake! Because of the PTSD, which is a weird memory keeper and stealer, I had no concept that was happening, and even when I shifted the PTSD, not all was reclaimed.

I walk through the dark so I can help others. To have felt spiritually connected the majority of my life and then to have that disappear was heart-shredding.

I learned in my early years of practice not to rescue others and have had good boundaries in that regard along with ghosts and entities, however when I came to someone I have a deep soul bond with, I jumped in, and I paid the price.

I am grateful, though, that no matter how dark it became, and let me tell you the darkness was all encompassing at times, the inner nudge to keep going and put things in place was the part of my spirit that was here, keeping me going. That nudge led me to travel and sit by a river in British Columbia and be in the presence of the wild spirit bear and the beautiful black bear. That nudge led me to buy my own home on an island, to have a safe haven to rebuild, work, study more and write more books. I am grateful.

Soul retrieval is not always a one-off journey; it has layers. The more layers that are removed, the more clearly we get to see. And no, we can't always see our own layers. We need help. The best therapists know that once we think we have it together, then it's time to close shop as we are no use to anyone.

Reclaiming that significant lost part has impacted me deeply, and it's still integrating in ways that make me smile. Now I am more realigned, I am adding to that depth of connection, realigning my subconscious beliefs and nourishing the smile that feels as if it's now coming from within.

Soul Retrieval for me has been a tool that has stood the test of time, and the lessons that I learn when I reclaim parts of me that have split off have been literally life-changing. It's the first journey I did when training in shamanism

and after all this time, it's still a formidable path to healing.

We no longer need to lie down in a tipi with a respected shaman, letting them journey for us, unless of course it's available and at hand.

All we need is an ‘experienced’ therapist who is trained in Contemporary or traditional Soul Retrieval and, most importantly, knows how to troubleshoot trauma.

I have studied many tools. Soul Retrieval stands at the centre of all of them. I write this to share with others in the hope that it may give them some insight into their own fragmentation and to know that reclaiming is at hand when they feel ready.

Blessings

Odette

(c) Odette Nightsky 2026